For all the great plays and heartwarming stories in sports, there’s also the ugly and awful. Each weekend, we’ll be bringing you 3-5 of the worst plays/decisions/anything else from that week. Some will be sad, some will be pathetic, but hopefully, most will be funny.
Baker Mayfield and Freddie Kitchens
This play speaks for itself.
Is Freddie “Soup” Kitchens the worst coach in the NFL? The answer seems to be a clear yes. This play call was hilarious – as was the look on the head coach’s face ~2 seconds into the above video. Yes, the Patriots defense is incredible, but that doesn’t excuse the funniest failure of an offensive play since the Butt Fumble.
The Browns came into the season with playoff ambitions – now, it might be a miracle if Kitchens survives past the end of the year. Baker Mayfield, he who yells at reporters, was supposed to make a leap this year, but instead has gone in the opposite direction. He seems to think he’s an athletic dual-threat… which he’s not.
Trent Dilfer, one of the nicest guys in football, classily and politely destroyed Kitchens on Ryen Russillo’s pod this week – stating simply what the rest of us know – Freddie Kitchens is not a head coach.
As a Steelers fan, I am joyous. The Browns may still finish behind my team despite the fact that we started a QB nicknamed “Duck” for a prime-time game this year. Go Browns incompetence forever!
Consequences of Not Drafting Luka Doncic
This seems like a particularly effective time to talk about something I’ve been confused about for over a year – what the hell were the Phoenix Suns and SacramentoKings thinking?
Luka Doncic was the best prospect last year, and it wasn’t even close. He won the EuroLeague MVP at 18, not as a plodding big man or as a shooter, but as an all-around dynamo, capable of doing pretty much anything on the basketball court.
The Suns had just hired Igor Kokoskov, who had coached Doncic on the Slovenian national team. With the first pick, they took… center DeAndre Ayton from Arizona.
The Kings are run by Vlade Divac, one of the greatest players from the former Yugoslavia in NBA history. If anyone would not underrate European players, it was theoretically Divac. With the second pick they took… big man Marvin Bagley III from Duke.
I’m not going to shit on the Atlanta Hawks like the other two teams above. The draft day trade that netted the Mavericks Doncic and the Hawks Trae Young and a first rounder isn’t nearly as bad as the previous two decisions, although I contend they lost.
History will tell how bad these moves were, but the present results are clear. Doncic won rookie of the year… Bagley and Ayton weren’t close. While Doncic and LeBron dueled in a game Dallas would have won without referee interference, Bagley was out with a fractured thumb and Ayton was serving his diuretic suspension. Tough look for the Suns and the Kings.
Trump’s Tough Sporting Week
I’ll try not to make this about my seething hatred for Trump – instead, I will objectively look at how he’s been made a fool over the last week at multiple sporting events.
While the real video is awesome, the second one, adding the track – just perfect. Trump thought this would be like one of his rallies – some cheering, some vaguely traitorous suggestions, an elderly supporter dropping dead after yelling “Lock Her Up” too vigorously – instead, he got to hear what America really thinks of him.
I like to think this is the face he gives Donald Jr. when Don Jr. asks if Trump loves him.
Trump then made the choice to go to the UFC event in New York this weekend, despite publicly bashing the state after moving his residence to Florida. He may have figured that UFC fans were more likely to be fans of his agenda. He was wrong.
Don’t worry Donald, they were saying Boooourns, not Boo.
Charles Barkley’s Lack of Research
As seen by my use of Shaqtin’ a Fool last week, I love the NBA on TNT guys and their regular hijinks. The annual “Who He Play For” provides a good chance for Ernie Johnson to show the immense research that Charles Barkley does over the offseason. I’m just kidding – Chuck never does his research and looks like a goofball on national television every year.
Watch the video – my words can’t describe the hilarity of Barkley’s flailing guesses. The Willie Green “Who He Coach For” was a nice twist for sure.
Bonus: Sexist and Inconsiderate Parade Schedules
I moved to DC at the end of August, and since then, both the Mystics and the Nationals have won their respective championships. While no one could possibly save the Deadskins, my mere presence means that I should probably teach DC to plan a parade.
Step 1: Plan it on a weekday. Step 2 – there is no step 2. Nothing beats your team winning a championship, except for getting to celebrate by missing work on an arbitrary weekday. To those who say, well, that’s not a holiday and I can’t miss work? I hope you’re not the ones planning the parade.
We have a chance to both implement these sacred ideals and right a grave injustice at the same time. The Nationals had a parade 3 days after they won their championship, and that’s great – they are a wonderful story and deserving winners that should be celebrated. However, I haven’t seen a parade for the Mystics, and that’s… kind of crazy. So let’s kill zero birds with zero stones, but still plan a weekday parade for DC’s other current champions – it only seems right.
