For all the great plays and heartwarming stories in sports, there’s also the ugly and awful. Each Saturday, we’ll be bringing you 3-5 of the worst plays/decisions by athletes from that week. Some will be sad, some will be pathetic, but hopefully, most will be funny.
1. Antonio Brown
Antonio Brown. Will you have your own permanent section in this article?
First, Brown couldn’t get off social media.
I’m so confused. What is AB even trying to say here? “AB is the brand not the individual”? In his position, are you really in a place to turn down a “good luck”. If anyone knows what AB was trying to say, please let me know.
That wasn’t it for AB this week.
Sorry – what? AB, I’m not your agent/lawyer, but I’m going to give you advice and say shut up and save all the money you can. It seems like you will need it. To be fair to AB, this actually happened 2 weeks ago – wait, nope, still disorderly conduct and being an asshole. Moving on… to a sadly related topic.
2. Vontaze Burfict
Before this week, I mostly hated Vontaze Burfict for his history of horrible hits against my Pittsburgh Steelers when he was on the Bengals. Hits like the one below on Antonio Brown (some think it triggered the downward spiral) had caused Burfict to be the most-fined player in NFL history.
This past weekend, however, now on the Raiders, Burfict delivered a hit on Jack Doyle, Colts TE, that was arguably the worst and most flagrant of his career. Doyle was on the ground, and needed to be merely touched to be ruled down. Instead, Burfict saw a chance and catapulted himself like a guided human missile towards Doyle’s head.
You don’t need my commentary to understand how awful that is. This week, the NFL banned Burfict for the rest of the season. What pisses me off most is the fact the Burfict blew kisses to the Colts crowd as he was heading off the field. His disdain for other players is obvious and disgusting.
“It will affect us that he won’t be out there. He’s a captain. The hard thing for me to understand is, we say we’re all about people, but sometimes we don’t get to know people. I think he’s one of the most misunderstood people in the NFL.” – said his QB, Derek Carr.
I don’t even want to parse the statement. I just want to point out that Vontaze Burfict was named a captain of the Oakland Raiders. Jon Gruden, you’re the one who really sucks. Naming someone like Burfict captain is downright indefensible when you consider his continual disregard for other players.
3. Milwaukee Brewers RF Trent Grisham
Now, I hate to pick on mistakes on the field, instead of the horrific decision-making by the two mentioned above. However, when you potentially cost your team continuing their playoff run – I’m sorry, but it sucks to suck. Unfortunately for Brewers RF Trent Grisham, he not only made a mistake that cost Milwaukee the game – he also did it while replacing last year’s MVP and hitting god Christian Yelich, who broke a bone in September. The most shocking thing about this is the fact that the Nationals had something go their way in October.
This is truly sad. By some accounts, it was the worst error in playoff history, in terms of the change in win probability. The two photos below show the absolute heartbreak that can result from sports sadness.
Here’s hoping it goes better for Grisham when the Brewers get back to work in the Spring.
4. NFL Combine and the Human Body
Trust me, this is the crossover that no one thought they needed. On the fabulous Bachelor Party podcast with Juliet Litman of the Ringer, Litman, EIC Mallory Rubin, and Bachelorette heartthrob Tyler Cameron had a wide-ranging discussion this Monday. Cameron is relevant for our purposes because he did make an NFL practice squad long before making waves this summer for having dated Gigi Hadid after the show. (They have since ended it). On the podcast, linked here, Cameron and Rubin got into a discussion about the NFL combine – specifically, about a certain disaster that can befall players when running the 40-yard-dash.
Rough Transcript:
TC: Have you ever seen the guys in the combine, at pro days?
MR: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Remember when Chris Jones… when his dick fell out? Running his 40… that was incredible.
TC: One of the best, one of the funniest – my buddy played at Western Kentucky. The QB was running – and there’s a picture on the Western Kentucky website, and his dick is out… from running the 40.
MR: Oh God. Chris Jones… elite prospect, running, and he could feel it had flopped out and fell forward to hide it (see below)… an amazing thing, having a great NFL career too.
TC: When I saw him fall, it scared me.
MR: Artificial turf!
TC: You’re gonna get burned… that’s a hard one to recover from.
Don’t worry, we’re not gonna go with any NSFW content here – no one wants to see that. Rest assured this is only in Worst of the Week because that would be the world’s worst turf-burn.
Bonus: Boston Red Sox
Is this only on here because Peter made a downright silly prediction about the Yankees losing to the Twins in 5? Maybe. That being said, the Red Sox seem to be approaching the upcoming offseason about as intelligently as Rudy Giuliani approaches television spots.
This of course starts with a disclaimer: Despite winning the World Series last year, the Red Sox were one of the most disappointing teams in baseball this year, and fired GM Dave Dombrowski in the dog days of summer. Now, they are talking about the fact that two of the best players on the team may not be suiting up for the Fenway faithful next season.
As reported here, it looks like the Sox are preparing for life without slugger JD Martinez and the 2018 AL MVP, Mookie Betts. Maybe they are just getting used to life in third place in the AL East?
We’ll be back next week with some more lowlights from sports.
