I was sitting in my property class on Thursday afternoon, during the break. We were talking about football, and as I’m in DC, many Redskins fans were near. After their 0-4 start, one was complaining that Daniel Snyder was the worst owner in American sports. I sadly laughed and asked, “non-James Dolan division?”. He sighed and admitted I had him there.
Firstly, I want to mention that I will not be talking about the Rangers in this article. I can’t speak to being a Rangers fan, because I love my Penguins. However, despite being run by the same megalomaniac man-child, they seem to be a successful, normal franchise, and I am jealous.
New York City is the beating heart of basketball, without a doubt. If you walk through Manhattan’s streets, you will see a court every couple blocks, and all sorts of people either shooting around or getting in their run. At the center is Madison Square Garden, reverently known as the Mecca. Kids all around the world dream of suiting up above Penn Station, of walking on that sacred hardwood. With that history, and the money in New York, you’d figure the Knicks would be great every season.
Up until 1999, when James Dolan took over primary control of the Knicks from his father, they were a proud franchise, if not one of the most successful. My dad still talks about their famed 1973 championship squad, featuring Willis Reed, Walt Frazier, Earl Monroe, Dave DeBusschere and more, having moved to the city the year before. He could not have imagined that would be the last time the Larry O’Brien trophy was in the Garden. In that 1999 season, Patrick Ewing (Go Georgetown!) and the Knicks went to the finals, but he was traded after the next year, and the James Dolan stench has barely left the Knicks.
We’re going to take a quick interlude from talking about the Knicks to talk about James Dolan’s shitty personal qualities. Given that he was the son of someone wealthy and never had to work for himself, it makes sense that he is an ardent Trump supporter. More baffling is his belief that he has actual musical ability. Rather than try to be a music critic, I’ll leave it to the experts to describe JD & the Straight Shot.
“This isn’t to say that Dolan’s music is good. It isn’t. He sings like he’s trying not to cough, and it’s possible he can’t play the guitar. Worse, his songs belie his status as a cosplaying bluesman; most of his lyrics simply summarize current events or books that he’s read, as if he were presenting a 10th grade English class project. The sheer earnestness and naïveté of it all is hilarious, especially coming from a 61-year-old man.” – Jack Tien-Dana, Men’s Journal
“The opening act was an undistinguished roots-rock band, J D and the Straight Shot. Soozie Tyrell on fiddle and Charlie Drayton on drums were among the well-known sidemen backing a karaoke-grade singer; J D is James L. Dolan, better known as the chief executive of Cablevision Entertainment.” – Jon Pareles, New York Times
I’ll leave you with what could generously be described as musical diarrhea, in case someone you hate asks you for a musical recommendation.
What is truly fantastic is the ratio of likes to dislikes on that video. They seriously had to disable comments. James Dolan’s internet content gets only a slightly better reception than overt white nationalism.
Back to the Knicks. I don’t even really need to talk about the product on the court, firstly, because you could read this, and because results in games can’t be completely tied to the owner. All you need to know – it’s been really bad. Instead, I want to talk about the incredibly stupid ancillary stuff Dolan has done.
In his term as team president, Isiah Thomas was found to have sexually harassed an employee at MSG, which Dolan helped cover up, leading to a settlement of over 11 million dollars. In 2015, Dolan hired Thomas to run the WNBA affiliate of the Knicks, the New York Liberty. Are you kidding? Dolan isn’t.
In 2015, responding to a fan letter which was critical of his ownership, Dolan responded that the person was a sad fan, should root for the Nets instead, and might be an alcoholic. He defended himself from the inevitable blowback by calling it a simple tit-for-tat.
In 2017, franchise legend Charles Oakley was removed from MSG by security, allegedly because of disorderly conduct, but many believe due to his repeated criticism of Dolan. Oakley, one of the toughest players in NBA history, called Dolan a bully.
In 2019, Dolan threatened a lifetime ban for a fan who yelled “Sell the Team” at him. Such a snowflake – need I go on?
There is one redeeming quality about James Dolan, and it has absolutely nothing to do with James Dolan. There is an excellent parody twitter account appropriately named Dolan J. Trump, a parody of two of the worst that New York has to offer. With the basketball season approaching, this is a must-follow.
There is only one way I could really finish this article. Please sell the team, James Dolan.
