As you’ve been warned before: this is a PRO-Kardashian website. With that in mind, welcome back to Kardashian Korner! The Kardashians are back for Season 17 of Keeping Up With The Kardashians (“KUWTK”). Headlines for the season include following Kim as she continues to make her way through Law School, is dealing with some scary health issues while ALSO expecting her new baby, Psalm; Kourtney deals with turning 40 and trying to come to terms with how (and with whom) she wants to spend the rest of her life; Khloe is still healing in the aftermath of the Jordan-Tristan drama (hyperlink here); Kylie continues to be a Boss Bitch running Kylie Cosmetics; Kris permeates her children’s life while also apparently dealing with Cory drama (looking forward to this); Kendall… we don’t get much insight into her but she is probably dealing with her constant anxiety.
In order to show my appreciation for this family I love so much and have been following for so many years, I’m going to do the episode recap in the form of episode awards:
Kourtney’s Bitchiest Moment
Our favorite monotone, oldest sister loves to bitch (and be a bitch) to her sisters. It’s part of her charm and why we love her so much. Kourtney’s bitchiest moment of the week comes when she is complaining about having to plan her 40th birthday party. She claims to hate being the center of attention (lol, sure Kourt) and that the thought of any speech giving, whooping, or having to thank anyone gives her anxiety – which same, tbh. Her constant complaining and yelling at her sisters who are only trying to help her leads to this iconic Kourtney description from Kim and Khloe in interviews:
Most Dramatic Overreaction
Kourt and Kim are hanging out and all of the sudden Kim notices that Kourtney has a bald spot on the top of her head. Kourtney calmly says that she thinks it’s from an insanely high pony-tail she had for a look one night. Instead of reacting like a normal person, Kim exclaims, “Oh my god Kourtney I’m afraid for your life” and “Kourtney you need to go to the hospital immediately.”
Definitely typical Kim being dramatic… but then we do see Kourtney go to the doctor to get PSP injected into her head so the hair will grow back. It honestly was really intense so maybe Kim’s dramatics were warranted (they weren’t)?
Hottest Tea
It’s True’s first birthday and the drama is whether or not Khloe should invite Tristan. Khloe says multiple times that it’s not fair or normal for exes to have to see each other (and so publicly) so soon after breaking up.
Unfortunately, she knows the best thing for True is to have him come, even if it’s not the best thing for her. Plus, she has to deal with her entire family’s opinions. Kris wants her to be the bigger person and invite her, Kourtney wants her to completely ignore him and leave it up to him and Kim thinks he shouldn’t come at all. Khloe spends the majority of her daughter’s first birthday party stressing about Tristan and how everyone is going to react to him.
She had only seen him once since the whole incident and it was just the day before – he continued to try to pursue her to which she basically told him to fuck off (thank god). Tristan confronts Kanye about how it hurt his feelings that the show used Kanye’s song “Runaway” as the theme song for all of the Tristan-Khloe drama that unfolded last season at True’s party. Kim then asks Kanye about it and Khloe catches them all talking about Tristan drama, causing her to freak out and cry. It honestly makes me so sad for Khloe that she has to keep dealing with this; but I could watch Kim shit on Tristan all day.
Most Ridiculous Kardashian Friend Moment
Who else could win this award besides Jonathan Cheban aka Food God. He apparently is now the ambassador for “Burgerim” a franchise burger joint and requests Kim’s presence as he tries everything on the menu. He shows up to this fast food restaurant wearing multiple diamond chain necklaces and a diamond watch that definitely costs more than the entire restaurant.
He proceeds to feed Kim onion rings as they shit talk per usual. This could not be more on brand for Food God. I don’t know which part of this is more ridiculous: being an ambassador for Burgerim, hand-feeding Kim or showing up wearing $200,000 worth of jewelry to said burger joint.
Cutest Kid
It’s True’s birthday this week, which led to all of the kids huddling around True and singing happy birthday. It’s just so cute to see all of the cousins being best friends and really caring for each other. Look at these sweeties!!!
Best Real Estate Porn
The Kardashians are known for their absurd real estate and interior designing – Scott even has a show “Flip It Like Disick”, based on him redesigning and flipping houses. Kylie was most recently featured in Architectural Digest and did a video with Kris taking us through her house. I always go back and forth with who’s house is my favorite (Khloe’s is at the moment) but this image of Kim’s house – nay ESTATE – is outrageous. It literally looks like a mansion made in Sims with the money cheat code.
Bonus: Scott being adorable
Scott holding a golden retriever puppy?!? Mount this picture on my wall.
